Republican Gun Control = Republican Health Care!

How to Get Republican Health Care:

Most Republican leaders claim that mental health services are the answer to mass shootings, not gun control.

Therefore, if you’re sick and cannot pay for it (no one can), buy a gun and then claim that your physical illness is driving you crazy. You’re homicidally depressed.

And the only way to fix your crazy is to fix your body.

Faced with a choice between taking your gun or paying for your expensive health care, the Republicans will have no choice but to pay up.

The Glorious Future of Weapons Technology

In the immediate future we should expect:

  • Drone-killing drones (DKD’s)
  • Mini-drones to protect against DKD’s
  • Mini-drones within ICBMs (intercontinental ballistic missiles) to protect against ABMs (anti-ballistic missiles). Goodbye nuclear security…
  • On the brighter side, bullets will call 911 when fired.

Looking beyond over the next 120 years we can expect:

  • Smart hand grenades
  • Bombs that outrank┬ásergeants
  • And finally, Artificial Intelligence programmed to destroy the enemy–the enemy meaning “other” human beings. What could go wrong? Really, what could possibly happen?

So invest now.

Bazooka Control Does Not Work

If you outlaw bazookas, only outlaws will have bazookas.

Bazookas don’t kill–people do. People with bazookas just kill more.

But Bazooka Control does not work–studies have shown that cities which outlaw bazookas are no safer than this one place in Idaho where everyone walks around with them.

The only thing that stops a bad guy with a bazooka is a good guy with two bazookas.

If society ever falls apart you’ll be glad your neighbor has a bazooka.

But if you let the government take your bazookas by voting for Bazooka Control, they’ll come for your 50-caliber machine guns next.

And then your grenades.

And then your plastic explosives.

There’s no limit, unless we stand firm and say: You’ll have to pry my bazooka out of my cold dead hands!