KGB-Approved

When I was at the University of Florida back in the 1984 the College Republicans would put “KGB-Approved” stickers on pro-Mondale bulletin board posts. Well, here’s your shit coming right back at you with infinitely more factual justification:

kgb_approved

And yeah, I know they’re now  called the  FSB but KGB sounds better and they haven’t changed.

Plus a few more memes by me:

buddha

j-lo

nice_ass

The above pic has been enhanced, I believe, but I know for a fact that this one has not:

j-lo2

maga

russia_if_youre_listening

 

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Stealing Our Points of View

Body cams for cops? Of course!

And then it’s body cams for teachers, body cams for security guards, and wrist cams for surgeons.

Soon every company will want body cams on its employees. And then the stockholders will want body cams on management. “Why are we paying them so much anyway?”

All our vehicles, even bicycles, will be fully cammed. Not protecting your child with a body cam will be considered negligence if not abuse.

Life will be one big non-selfie.

Our very points of view will be accessible by government or management. It will no longer be ours.

(Granted, most people have stupid points of view anyway, but hey, you gotta have some personality!)

We will all become walking Big Brother cams.

The Luckiest Generation is that which grows up during the flowering of technology right before it outgrows us.

To this generation I say “You lucky bastards!”

To the next generation I say “You poor fucking saps…”

Exclusive Video of Stephen Collins’ Molestation Scandal!

TMZ may have the audio but only Perverted Wisdom has the video!

Secret surveillance recordings from Stephen Collins’ disgruntled wife show him boinking an underage-looking girl with a spuriously coincidental resemblance to the actress Keri Russell. Repeat: the coincidental nature of the resemblance to Keri Russell is entirely spurious.

Stephen Collins as the lucky perv and Keri Russell as the high school student in love with her molester, in The Babysitter's Seduction

Stephen Collins as the lucky perv and Keri Russell as the high school student in love with her molester, in The Babysitter’s Seduction

Next installment:  secret surveillance footage of Stephen Collins leching out while a young woman pretending to be his daughter twerks for him.

My Fake Conversion to Isislam

Shopping for religions one day, exploring all the philosophical and doctrinal differences and weighing their various defects and virtues, I decided I needed a religion with more beheadings.

A religion with more beheadings is the kind of religion you want to be a part of, that’s for sure. As the saying goes: “Faith, Hope, Charity, yet without beheadings, I am as nothing.”

It’s hard not to think about God during a beheading. It’s so moving.

What a great selling point for our religion—the Jehovah Witnesses have their pamphlets and the Protestants have their hospitals and faggy medical missionaries, but hey, we’ve got snuff films!

Snuff films which glorify God.

If the Prophet were alive today, he’d be into that kind of snuff, right?

Thousands of psychotic converts like me are inexorably drawn to the True Faith (mankind’s best hope) after seeing a video of a beheading.

You had me at the first messy knife-cut!

If only they could bring back quartering–you know, where they put a draft animal on each limb–think of all the sick-fuck converts we could win over!

Our religion will benefit greatly from drawing in all these sick-fucks who like snuff. We will be the new Elect of God, singing ancient praises of the All Mighty One, watching high-pressure blood splatter, kidnapping a wife or two…

Yeah, that’s a hell of a recruitment tool. Literally.