Tag Archives: style

Super Tuesday Goes Freaky Friday

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Sanders:  Have you seen the size of Hillary’s hands? They’re hu-uge! 

Clinton:  Shut up you old nerd!

Sanders:  And you know what they say about a woman with big hands?

Clinton:  They deliver bigger punches? Like the punch I’m going to land on your face?

Sanders:  They grab more money from corporate America!

Clinton:  Look, Sanders is desperate. He’s a loser. A desperate loser. I’ve never seen such a desperate loser and I’m a Progressive!

Sanders:  Listen Lil’ Hil’–that’s what I call her, Lil’ Hil’–listen, I’m sorry they scheduled this debate during your menstrual cycle but try not to get too hysterical.

Clinton:  I’m a little old for menstrual cycles, Senator–that shows how little you know about women! And naturally you know nothing about women since you married a fat pig instead! Look at that face! Can you imagine that face as our First Lady? Aagghh!

Sanders:  Go fix your make-up, you’re sweating all over the podium. Maybe we can schedule you another disgustingly long bathroom break. In fact, I will cede five minutes of my debate time so Secretary Clinton can take an extra large dump. That’s what a gentleman I am. Chivalry is not dead!

MODERATOR:  The question was about free trade deals.

Morning Joe = Howard Stern Show?

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Summary/overview:  One cool guy surrounded by an uptight upper-middle-class co-host and a technical staff that sometimes messes up, with guests and part-time panelists that are either geeks and freaks (male news guys) or babes and milfs.(female news dolls). Female co-host has a lovely engaging laugh but does not cheaply bestow it on the “boys’ humor” that often threatens to undo the whole show. Of course, her disapproval makes their humor all the more funny, supposedly.

Joe =  Howard.

Mika = Robin.

TJ = Gary Dell’Abate.

Steve Rattner = Beetlejuice

So far, pretty obvious.

But even Joe Scarborough’s conservatism in a sea of liberal MSNBC-people is similar to Howard Stern’s philosophical position on his old radio show, for Howard was the nagging family guy in a sea of single sex freaks, and Howard was always telling his freaky guests to be more responsible and to grow up and be careful. Yes, Howard was a conservative–a social conservative! (Relative to his melieu.)

Another similarity between the two shows is the imperious, dictatorial atmosphere on the set during airtime whereby everybody is apparently in fear of getting fired by the host or co-host for any kind of reason.

There are numerous other similarities in style and format: the rock music interludes, of course: the idea of a public forum where even conservative guests (celebrities in Stern’s case) will be deliberately put outside their comfort zone; the selective releases of too much personal information about the host, co-host or panelists’ private lives; repeating the 6:00 AM broadcast at 8:00 AM, etc.

Mike Barnacle = Fred

John Heileman = Arte Lange

Willie Geist = Jackie the Jokeman Martling

Louis Burgdorf = Stuttering John

Donnie Deutsch = Ralph

Brian Shachtman, Bill Karins, and Brian Sullivan = latest intern to be abused

But, I gotta say, the romantic photographs of Joe and Mika–soaking in the sunset, napping in the park together, the one with the foot-massage, etc.–that’s original. Howard and Robin never did that when they had a TV show. Howard’s wives would have prevented it.