More Original Trump Memes

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Seinfeld – Andy Griffith Similarities

Plot similarities:

  • A British man gets into a car accident and is sentenced to be Andy Griffith’s butler
    • Jerry and George write a TV pilot script premised on a man without car insurance sentenced by a judge to be Jerry’s butler 
  • Andy gets bothered by his girlfriend’s overly familiar long-term male visitor
    • Jerry gets bothered by his girlfriend’s overly familiar male roommate
  • Andy has trouble with a girlfriend because she shoots better than he does
    • George dumps his girlfriend because she beat him at chess
  • Andy mistakenly says something negative about Barney’s relationship with his ex-girlfriend Thelma Lou which later comes back to haunt him when Barney and Thelma Lou make up again
    • Jerry and Elaine mistakenly say something negative about Kramer’s ex-girlfriend which comes back to haunt them after Kramer makes up with her
  • Howard Sprague joins the Big Brother program
    • George gets conscripted into the Big Brother program
  • Andy’s get-away vacation to the lake is ruined by Warren’s premonitions of disaster
    • George’s vacation plans are ruined by a psychic’s premonition of disaster
  • Andy helps Barney who’s tongue-tied around his girlfriend
    • Newman helps Kramer who’s tongue-tied around the woman he likes
  • Barney attracts the romantic interest of a female convict
    • George dates a female convict
  • Howard Sprague becomes a swinging single guy
    • George declares “The Summer of George!”
  • Andy, Opie and Aunt Bee go to Hollywood for three episodes
    • Jerry, George and Kramer go to Hollywood for two episodes
  • Howard Sprague abruptly quits Mayberry and lives a Bohemian life on a tropical island
    • Kramer abruptly quits New York and lives a Bohemian life in sunny California
  • A visiting movie crew disrupts the normal life in Mayberry
    • A Woody Allen movie being shot down the street from Jerry’s apartment disrupts everyone’s life
  • Opie’s inability to dance becomes a major issue
    • Elaine finds out she dances horribly

Character Similarities:

Jerry and Andy:  Single guy surrounded by girlfriends; cool, rational, voice-of-reason protagonist with dysfunctional friends:

George and Barney/Warren:  nervous, manic, uncool, over-excited, prone to crazy schemes (both Costanza and Fife also work in real estate for a while)

Kramer and Gomer/Goober:  tall, thin, lanky, goofy, “not playing with a full deck”

UPDATE:andy-griffith-make-up-sex

George and Jerry Discuss the Sequester: a Seinfeld tribute/rip-off

What if this sequester thing actually starts to feel good? That’s a sign, isn’t it? A sign that, you know, you’re–

You’re what?

You’re, you know, a latent conservative.

We’re all latent conservatives! But we’re all latent everything else too, so cheer up–all of us could be anything!

What about if you watch FOX News and it moves?

What?

I think it moved–it may have moved!

Of course it moved, they have porn stars reading the news at FOX.

No, this was during Bill Hemmer!

Ohhhh. Well, look on the bright side–maybe it’s a latent gay thing more than a latent conservative thing.

Thank you very much! Just my luck–my true identity is not the frustrated neurotic heterosexual I appear to be–I’m really a Log Cabin Republican!

You can still be frustrated and neurotic and live in the Log Cabin.

I could be frustrated and neurotic in my own harem.

I bet it’s nice in there.

Where?

The Log Cabin…[muses] You know, the Log Cabin Republicans really should build an actual log cabin to promote their group. Like a visitors center.

A log cabin in DC!

A log cabin in DC–a super-posh but conservative log cabin of tasteful comfort. Berdache-fabulous, yet gentlemanly and properly restrained…I bet they could win a lot of converts that way. Especially on football days.

Gay converts or conservative converts?

Either way.

Santorum and Seinfeld 2012 ! (or maybe Callista for First Lady…)

Because the best VP has got to be the one that looks just like you!

At the exploratory committee:
Jerry:  It’ll be a campaign about nothing!
Rick:  About nothing?!
Jerry:  Nothing!  Everyone’s campaigning about something, ours will be a campaign about nothing!
Rick:  And Romney becomes our butler?
Jerry:  Secretary of the treasury.
Rick:  I could see that. And what about Kramer, I mean Gingrich?
Jerry:  We’ll think of something. He’ll think of something. Mm, we’d better let him down easy. Make him ambassador to the Greek Isles.
Rick:  The ambassador to wherever he wants to promote his coffee-table books.

 

Say what you want about Newt Gingrich, but it’s obvious that his wife Callista would make the best First Lady:  because she’s cool with it!  Think of the slogans:  Callista’s Down With It!  Party on with Newt and Callista!

The failure of both Huntsman and Romney to win the allegience of fellow Republicans on a national scale should convince the Mormon Church of two important lessons:

1.  You will always find more acceptance among the liberal, left-wing “humanist” types than you will among the Christian Right. So give them up.

2.  Stop producing robotic, Steptford Dudes in your power heirarchies. Abandon whatever it is that’s churning out these android clones. Even the good-natured Harry Reid (D-NV) is a little too droidish. Perhaps there is a psychological cost to the dogmatic repetition of socially shared core beliefs which constitutes at least part of every Mormon meeting, even volleyball games.