Great Moments in Speculative History

Secret Emergency Conclave of the Elites c. January 2017:

Democratic Elite: We’ve got Trump dead-to-rights on the Russia hack, Russian blackmail, and Russian money, but we need you, the Republican Elite, to go along with redressing the wrongs. You know, for the good of the country.

Republican Elite: Ok, but what’s in it for us? What can you give us?

[Back-and-forth colloquy. Summary: Republican Elite agrees it’s for the good of the country but that the Republicans deserve political compensation for the inevitable losses they face after the shit hits the fan, and that a crippled Mike Pence presidency is not enough.]

Democratic Elite: Look, we’ll delay the hammer-drop on Trump for a few months to give you time to enact a first-year agenda, if you can. And you get Pence.

Republican Elite: Deal!

Dave Petraeus Jokes

So MoveOn was right: ¬†We told you he’d betray us!

He slept with his own biographer–truly a tactical and strategic genius.

Is his biographer now going to write a sequel?
“He won the war. Then he fucked me. It was pretty good. The end.”

Something tells me there’s a sex tape somewhere, probably classified.
Porno version: CIAnal, The Four Star Fuck Force, Beneath the Green Desk, Biographize This!

Her excuse: you go to bed with the army you’ve got, not the army you would like to have.

A 60-year-old like Petraeus sleeping with a 40-year-old like Paula Broadwell is almost like a 40-year-old sleeping with a 20-year-old. Almost. Almost not at all.

Do we really want a person in charge of the CIA who can’t even keep an affair secret? Not even from those hacks at FBI?
We could do so much better with Arnold Schwarzenegger in charge of the Agency.