•   When giant meteor hit earth in February 2013 naturally it hit Chelyabinsk Russia

‘Cuz we are Russia and we are a sad people

•   When world have worst nuclear disaster naturally it happen to Soviet Union

‘Cuz we are Russia and we are a sad people

•   America fight Nazis and take over British and French world empires. We lose 20 million people to fight against Nazis and all we get is Eastern Europe

‘Cuz we are Russia and we are a sad people

•   We have glorious Revolution to overthrow horrible Czars and get more horrible Stalin. Then we overthrow communists and get fat drunk Yeltsin and horrible dictator Putin

‘Cuz we are Russia and we are a sad people

•   We are wonderful blend of tall blonde Viking, muscular Slav and dashing Asian horsemen but still nation of ugly babushkas

‘Cuz we are Russia and we are a sad people

•   We invent electronic music, satellite, spaceflight, videotape recorder, radio, helicopter, hydroplane, solar cell, power transformer, synthetic rubber, combine harvester—and still have to steal our technology from the West!

‘Cuz we are Russia and we are a sad people

Notes:  Chernobyl and Yakov Smirnoff were Ukrainian.