The Social Psychology of Homo Interneticus

Everyone is a revelation or at least an instantiation of a revelation. Special-ness is not diminished by duplication.

Other people’s opinions are worth the time it takes to elicit them. It’s just the content of their opinions that are worthless.

The Ancestors become alive when you become old.

Non-college people become more collegey when they get older while college people become less collegey.

When it comes to sympathy, validation, approval or camaraderie, quantity surpasses quality.

If postcards, greeting cards and postage had been free we could have had Facebook and Twitter hundreds of years ago.

Conversation is propaganda and everyone else’s comments are always somehow inappropriate.

Clicking buttons is hard work and scrolling even harder. No information is worth more than four clicks to get at.

A picture is worth a thousand words but a picture with words on it is worth a thousand pictures. Force multiplier.

Be honest and forthcoming in private conversation; be a little more guarded in small groups. Before large audiences, stick to the script or an outline. But when the whole world is listening, let it all hang out.

It’s a great joy to say you’ve already seen or read something and an even greater joy to show it to someone who hasn’t. Especially when they go ­čś«

Website Mega Mergers

23-and-Me-Harmony.com

Find your perfect genetic match, the One who God placed here to provide you with good stock

Match-Credit-Report.com

Date only the winners.

And lose to them.

Affordable-Health-Care-Radio.com  [Obamacare 1400]

The hippest hold music in the Western Hempisphere

The Intersection of Dimensions

No one knows what this website is other than “it’s coming” and it’s going to “change everything.”

Or it could just be a corner.

Evil-Harmony.com

Hook-up site for admitted scumbags.

And you.

Mensa-Stration.org

For intelligent people who are always on the rag.

Mensa-Bation.org

For intelligent people who would rather just jerk off.

My-Ad-Space.com

Make advertisers pay YOU for your valuable attention

Bezos’ News-o’s: Excerpts From (and Descriptions of) The Washington Post in the Year 2020

Please rate your experience reading this news story…

Reminder: you have not left feedback on your recent news consumption…

You can get old, slightly damaged news for much less NetCash┬«–anywhere from 99 NetCoins┬«┬á(fair condition–stray marks here and there, frequent inaccuracies) to $9.99 (like new! and mostly fact-checked)

You can be your own reporter and sell your own used news for less than a NetDollar┬«–the way you make money is on the mandatory $3.99 delivery charge┬«

For the first several years they actually lost news!

Even during the Great Recession of 2019 (fuckin’ President Christie!) The Washington Post was opening news warehouses all over the country.

And he still drives a 1998 Honda Accord!

All proceeds from the news are invested in useless space debris.

He also purchased People Magazine and still failed to make the 50 Sexiest List

Get a Washington Post-Chase credit card and win Bezos-Points® with every news story!

Television Begins its Campaign Against the Internet

(redundant text for google)
From Television to its Long-Lost Viewers: Come back, hither, away from that fucking internet!
Barbara Eden for TV: “See you can’t get this kind of shit on the internet, and even if you could, it wouldn’t make sense without a lot of TV!”
Old fashioned bitch-slap scene: “Get your ass back in front of the TV” (spoken by the Powers that be)
Barbara Eden (as the American public): “I can’t take the ads and the lack of actual sex anymore!”
America, we’ve heard your input so we’re bringing back bitch-slaps to television!

(c)2012, Alan Brech