Outsource American TV News

American-made TV news is a dinosaur destined for extinction, a gas-guzzler headed for the museum. America just can’t do TV news anymore. It’s become too big not to fail, like Brian Williams or a ’72 Chevy Impala.

Meanwhile foreign news companies like the Arab-owned Al Jazeera or the Israeli-owned FOX News are outproducing and outperforming all our domestic news networks.


CNN and MSNBC can only cover one story at a time. Baltimore riots, Bruce Jenner, Charleston killings, Confederate flag removals—these are the only things that happened in June and July 2015. Nothing else was worth covering.

American TV news retains and promotes the wrong people (Matt Lauer, George Stephanopolous, Brian Williams) and releases the good ones. We hit ’em and leave ’em and Al Jazeera pulls up quick to retrieve ’em.

American news is too close to its sources and its sponsors. Its sources are law enforcement, the military, and politicians. Its sponsors are the pharmaceutical industry, the Koch brothers, and “wealth management” firms. If you can’t afford to alienate any of these people you have no business reporting the news.

 – The rest of the world barely exists in American TV news. Five Americans dying from terrorism warrants five days of constant “coverage.” Fifty foreigners in Goddamnastan dying from terrorism barely elicits a five-second mention in between celebrity diet stories.

America’s “24/7 news cycle” is really only 18 hours long on weekdays. On weekends MSNBC goes to jail, CNN goes to restaurants with Anthony Bourdain, FOX reminisces about the good old wars, and CNN Headline News shows internet clips and re-runs of re-runs of Forensic Files. Foreigners, however, don’t have the luxury of assuming that the whole world runs on Eastern Standard Time. They’re always on their toes.

 – American news manipulators mistakenly believe their own focus groups:

“We Americans don’t want to hear about how bad things are in America.”

     Yes we do! We love this fuckin’ country!

“We don’t want to hear about the latest coups and riots in the tiny nation of Upper Baboonasshole.”

     In fact, I would have liked to have seen a TV reality show centered around the Buck Naked Brigade.

“We want news stories that highlight the dominant social themes of the day.”

     Yeah, as you see them, allowing you to pick and choose the social themes of the day and suppress the ones disfavored by your Sources and Sponsors.


None—if CNN and the other American networks tried to learn from Al Jazeera it would be like Ford Motors trying to build the Pinto. There’s no hope. You can’t fix a cracked colossus.

Jokes About Crimea, Russia, and Ukraine

•   Putin may have backed a loser in Yanukovych but if we continue to back the western Ukrainians we will be backing an entire nation of historical losers:

Ecstatic Ukrainians welcome the German army, 1941.

Ecstatic western Ukrainians welcome the German army, 1941.

Bhodan Khmelneytsky: Ukraine's national hero and committed porgromist

Bhodan Khmelneytsky: Ukraine’s national hero and committed pogromist

Monument to the murderous pogromist Bhodan Khmelneytsky in Kiev

Monument to the murderous pogromist Bhodan Khmelneytsky in Kiev, 1999.

Jewish exterminator Bhodan Khmelnytsky on modern Ukrainian money

Exterminator of Jews Bhodan Khmelneytsky on modern Ukrainian money

•  Ukraine is a case where a potential breadbasket is instead a basket case with no potential:

The GDP rate of Poland, Russia and Ukraine (the 1990 levels equals 100 percent)  source: National Statistics Committee, IMF

The GDP rate of Poland, Russia and Ukraine (the 1990 levels equals 100 percent) source: National Statistics Committee, IMF; from the webpage:  http://eng.globalaffairs.ru/number/n_6578

Hey, we’re almost up to the pre-Independence levels under late, decrepit communism! Whe-hew!

•   Richard Pryor on why Putin sent troops into Crimea:

Dey was home.

•   Yet another brilliant idea from America’s foreign policy establishment:  Let’s drum up a world war or at least a new Cold War to force the Crimea back into a country of which it was never really a part!

Crimea belongs to Ukraine about as much as the Panama Canal “belonged” to the United States.

•   Hypocrisy check:  does the United States of America–

–Support democratically elected governments?

Yanukovych was democratically elected.

–Oppose unprovoked invasions of foreign countries?

Can you imagine if Iraq in 2003 had a population that was 60% American?  Our Congress would have unanimously voted for military action just like Russia’s parliament did. (Instead, it “only” passed 297 to 133.)

–Support diplomatic solutions and internationally brokered peace agreements?

The western Ukrainian mob violated a days-old agreement brokered by Germany when they overthrew Yanukovich.

–Support the right of self-determination for all peoples?

The Crimea will vote later this month on whether they want to be part of the Ukraine. 

Spoiler alert:  they don’t!

And neither would you.

–Oppose anti-semitism wherever it rears its ugly head?Ukraine_Anti_Semitic_Protest__vinnews@hotmail_com