Knowledge Gone Negative

Misanthrope-ology:   the study of the diverse ways in which people around the world are such scum

Pscum-ochology:  the study of the inner workings of the scumbag mind and its scummy behavior.  First year students are required to complete a thesis entitled “Why Am I Such A Scumbag?”

Phil-lost-ophy:   what’s the meaning of all this scuminess?

Relivision:  spiritual answer to above question without so much questioning involved

Socio-scumology:  just what it says, the study of scumbags in groups, like you and your friends

Scum-onomics:  how can we make more money off all these scumbags?  Pay us money and we’ll show you

Shitstory:  the study of the distant past when people were just shitty but not yet fully scummy, like you and your friends

Criminology:  used to be an independent field of study at the university level, now part of elementary education. For their own good.

21st Century Destined to become Known as the Century of the Amish

Worst professional specialty of the 24th Century: Historian specializing in 21st Century Studies.
“Basically, my job is to plow through all the pointless internet postings that survived CyberWorld War 2.0 and write unread scholarly articles about what life was really like in the 21st Century. The pay is low. Thank God some people kept using film! Those troglodytes who stuck to parchment and mercury-based inks really knew what they were doing.
“Naturally, this means the Amish are vastly over-represented in our view of the 21st Century, which is part of our job as historians to correct. Did I mention the pay is low?”