Fictitious Town Names USA

  • Disappointment, Florida
  • Wrongturn, Georgia
  • Godknows, Kentucky
  • Freefirezone, Montana
  • Cousin Crossings, West Virginia
  • False Values, Iowa
  • The Town With No Name, Maine
  • PO Box, Nevada
  • Plainfolk, Alabama
  • Tailgate, New York
  • Limbo, Maryland
  • Rapist City, South Carolina
  • Analingus, Kansas
  • Somewheresville, Somewhere
  • Strippersville, North Carolina
  • Angrydrunk, Rhode Island
  • Bad Movie, Wyoming
  • Once Sacred, Indiana
  • Blood-In/Blood-Out, Pennsylvania
  • Habla Ingles, Florida
  • Sketchy Past, Alaska
  • The twin cities of Hardtail and Dudesville, Wisconsin
  • Yellingtown, New Jersey
  • Looted Graves, Ohio
  • Missing Limbs, Missouri
  • Missing Women, Mississippi
  • Mundane, Michigan
  • Toomuchgod, Texas
  • Tolerable Valley, Utah
  • Slow Death, South Dakota
  • Snobford, Connecticut
  • Stillhere, Tennessee
  • Rudesttown, New Jersey
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Solution to the Gun Control Issue: Math

And geography:

Population density ÷ distance to nearest high-density area =

Your gun laws.

The higher your number, the more restrictive your gun laws. Low numbers entitles you to all the Wild West paranoid fun you can stockpile.

IF you keep it out in the sticks.

Because remember: being born in a low density area means nothing when you enter a high density area. The laws are the same for everyone in high and low density areas. it’s just different depending on where you’re at.

Gun owners with a house in the city and a house in the country, for instance, would find themselves under two different sets of gun laws, depending on their location.

My second serious blog entry… The last time I sacrificed humor was in order to solve the Afghanistan-Pakistan-Kashmir problem. I did it, but no one listened.

And people died.

Now, I want to be funny and write instead about butterflies made out of bullshit but you people leave all these needlessly unsolved issues out there, it forces me to get practical and dreary sometimes.

So it’s your fault.