Sexism Equals Political Science when it comes to Women Voters

Once again, it’s all about the women’s vote.  Just like every presidential election!

It’s sexist to think of women as vacillating and indecisive, as emotional and lacking information, and favoring style over substance.

And yet apparently it’s almost “science” to say such things about women voters, at least in presidential elections.

I’m sick of every election being about the last-minute impulses of Soccer Moms and Security Moms and Swing Moms.

Sick of it, and resigned to it.

But I can still dream:  Let’s have new voter groups–what about the Haters vote?  Are people who hate life breaking for Romney or Obama?

And how is that Awkward vote shaping up?

Did you know that Obama won the first debate among Shy voters?

Of course, you know what would happen–even if we did have these new improved voter categories, presidential elections would still come down to the last-minute vacillations of the Hater Moms, the Awkward Moms, and the Shy Moms:

“He came across as rude, and therefore I’m gonna vote for guns over butter this year.”

Some things will never change, including the things most subject to change.

Alan Brech 2012

Human Romney-volution through Unnatural Sell-Election

[pics of Romney’s head atop archetypical specimens from human evolution]

Australopithemitt:
We bought out the chimps, downsized their stupid trees, and then fired their lazy asses. I love being able to fire chimps, don’t you?

Not-Homo-at-All Mittwreckedus:
You can’t blame us for outcompeting the Australopithemitts, we all ran out of chimps.

Archaic Homo (ok a little) Sapiens:
All we’ve done is take the competitve spirit of our ancestors and applied it to our cousins, the Homo Mittwreckedus–
“Not homo! At all!”
Ok, not homo, just pretty-mouthed.
“Hey!”

Eurasian side-shoot: the Mittromneythals:
Our early pioneer ancestors came out of the fertile plains of Asia Minor into the wild wastes of Europe and said This is the place! That’s an inside joke, ha ha ha…

Fully Modern Romneyman:
I’m not gonna apologize for my wealth. And since wealth requires poor people to work for it, I’m not going to apologize for anyone’s poverty either.
I’m also not going to apologize for America. What trail of tears? What Mormon persecutions? America has nothing to be sorry for the way it treated Mormons, Indians, blacks, women, nothing at all–just ask Sean Hannity–actually, I’ll have my people have him ask me that himself when I do my only interview later next month…

Next stop: Romneybots vs. Mittdroids in the Giant Waste of Galactic Resources in Pointless Pursuit of Galactic Dominance Over Resources!