Confuse the News — Let’s Blurry the Lead

•  Missing Malaysian jetliner crashes into East Harlem building in New York, killing dozens

Spokesman for Chinese families says: “Now we have crosure.”

•  Turkish streets erupt in protest over Venezuelan protests against David Jolly victory over Alex Sink in Florida special election

Floridians react:  “Surf’s up!”

•  Putin sends handicapped troops into Special Olympics, seizing Ukrainian gold and causing Oscar Pistorius to vomit on his stumps

•  Obama grants comedian a health care interview to help him with his sick jokes

•  Republicans rescind and reject Republican-sponsored bill as “socialist garbage” after Obama signals possible non-veto

•  Drought in California causing widespread medical marijuana shortages–millions of fake illnesses could go untreated for months

•  Military tribunal on sex crimes asks cheerleader to the prom

•  Heart-warming viral video:  Afghanistan war veteran surprises his mistress with unannounced homecoming

•  Conservative Think-Tank Study: Impoverished recipients of marijuana tax money in Colorado wasting their money on pot

Severe Storms: Socialist Stimulus Schemes from the Sky

Storm damage causes economic growth:

  • All that money sitting in the coffers of insurance companies and reinsurance companies gets spent on building supplies and reconstruction work
  • In advance of the storms, sales are brisk on items that hardly ever sell otherwise
  • After the storm, people are desperate to satisfy all that pent-up demand

Storm damage is Keynesian–it causes good economic growth:
M
oney from insurance executives and investors goes to working people and middle class assets (houses)

Severe storms promote efficiency in the most worker-friendly way:
These are guilt-free days off with the kids and family–entirely guilt free, unlike a sick day or even a vacation day. A “storm day” that closes a city is as economically miraculous as if everyone in the area decided to take an impromptu personal day at the same time. Afterwards everyone comes back to work synced to the same rhythm of making up for lost days which is never too hard (increasing efficiency)

Storms make us look at the big picture:
We all want to live in our own little worlds but the one big world won’t let us.

Storms make us look at the little picture:
Specifically, how much can be fit into the corner of a wet life raft or helicopter sling.

Storms build social bonds within and across communities:
It’s hard to feel anything for these bland, middle-American, semi-rural places until a storm comes and tears them apart. Then they seem adorable.

Severe storm damage rebuilds bonds between responsive governments and people:

Atlas shrugged, freed from the burden of supporting the 47%… But then Sandy swept his beach-house out to sea and now he wants a bailout too.

“How was I supposed to know that there was this thing called ‘erosion’?”

“Who knew oceans were so big and sloppy? Who knew?”