Manti Te’o on Broadway in Madame E-Butterfly

Manti Te’o–was he hoaxed or secretly gay for man-tight tail?

Either way, Manti would do well to sell his story to Broadway:  Madame E-Butterfly.

Or at least a lucrative website:  MadameEButterfly.com can hook you up with your own fake hot girlfriend who dies after a couple years!

Question: Why did Manti Te’o’s fake girlfriend threaten to break up with him? Answer: She couldn’t take all his lies.

Of course, none of us would be laughing if poor Manti had killed himself Romeo-style for a Juliette that did not exist. Most of us would not be laughing.

Free novel idea:  The Sorrows of Young E-Werther by E-Goethe (an e-book)

The moral of the story is that, in our own way, we’re all Manti Te’o’s–no wait, we’re all his fake girlfriend, or rather the dude behind the fake girlfriend, or are we the woman whose identity was falsely used?… Actually, there’s no moral to this story but damn it’s good–and that’s just what we know so far!

“Far from gay” was his answer to Katie Couric but then again whoever says they’re close?

“I’m not gay at all, but I’m damn close!”

“I have no attraction to men or their anatomy–but I almost do!”

What else is “close to gay?” Using the word “pesky” too often?

Sometimes I think I enjoy using cotton swab-sticks in my ears a little too intensely. It’s just such a good feeling: “Oh yeah, big buddy, ream me out! I’m all juicy and I need it!

My girlfriend asked me to choose–her or the Q-tips. So yeah, I’m single.

So that could be a little close to gay. And the fact that she never existed.