The NRA Gospel

Turn the other cheek while maintaining a rapid rate of fire.

If a man take thy cloak forbid him not to take thy overcoat also, then plug his ass if he falleth for it.

Give unto the poor, then bid them leave by flexing your steel.

Blessed are the Peacemakers–Smith and Wesson and Colt, yea and Kalashnikov too, for they shall guard the Compound of Heaven.

For a man’s treasure is where his arsenal is, right next to his comms center.

Let not thy right hand know what weapons thy left arm concealeth.

Tis harder for a rich man to enter the Bunker of Heaven than it is for a poor man with an RPG and teflon-coated bullets.

For the gunsmith is worth his wages.

In the beginning was the Word, and the word was Safety. And the next word was Off.

The Kingdom of Heaven is like unto a tiny projectile that causes the smallest of entrance wounds but totally blows away the back of your head.


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