Trump Jokes

When society gets pathological the sociopaths seem logical.

Trump’s mixed business record:

Trump Air failed. Trump Hot Air is doing quite well.

Trump Vodka also failed. Trump Snake Oil continues to sell.

Trump University failed in its educational mission. Trump Bullshit continues to misinform millions.

New Trump slogans based upon Trump attributes:

His demeanor:  Make America grating again.

His character:  Make America greed again.

His age:  Make America grayed again.

Trump, the only person who could beat Hillary Clinton and not get convicted.

David Duke endorses Trump. Trump disavows him. Duke approves of Trump’s disavowal. Trump disavows Duke’s approval of his repudiation. This goes on for months.

Trump has led the life of a good Christian prior to their conversion. Evangelicals can relate to that.

Trump’s family is strong. All three of them. He’s a great ex-husband–the kind of man every woman wishes they were no longer married to.

If Trump were to make the White House an actual reality show–live cameras on all the time except for top secret security stuff–I still might not vote for him. But I would definitely watch. The ad money from that show could pay for the whole damn government!

As we plunge into the Apocalypse

Trump’s properties were some of the best in the world.

Until the Sanders Revolution

Americans want a president with good gut instincts. And that’s why we send our kids to school–to develop their guts. (I scored a 750 on the gut instinct part of the SATs, FYI.) And that’s why the first question at every job interview is “How’s your gut?”

School guidance counselor:  “Mr. and Mrs. Ordinary, I’m afraid your child has really bad gut instincts. We’re going to have to enroll him in a remedial program run by Trump University.”

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