How to Get Republican Health Care:

Most Republican leaders claim that mental health services are the answer to mass shootings, not gun control.

Therefore, if you’re sick and cannot pay for it (no one can), buy a gun and then claim that your physical illness is driving you crazy. You’re homicidally depressed.

And the only way to fix your crazy is to fix your body.

Faced with a choice between taking your gun or paying for your expensive health care, the Republicans will have no choice but to pay up.