Monthly Archives: March 2015

Extreme Solutions

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Fuck Palestine and fuck Israel–bring back Canaan!

Airline pilots can no longer leave the cockpit but must wear diapers instead.

In order to be truly free and equal, gays need their own homeland. Ditto for women.

Encourage and assist all Sunni jihadis to go to Syria. Then bomb them. Then feed their remains to pigs so that they’re ineligible for Heaven.

Repeal the 8th Amendment to the Constitution–allow cruel and unusual punishment for lawyers and judges who knowingly prosecute or convict innocent people.Torture them! Human rights are for people who care about other people’s human rights.

Don’t just legalize marijuana–issue it. Hand it out like government cheese back in the 80’s.

Give back Southern Appalachia to the Cherokees. We’re not using it.

Execute all motorists who don’t use their turn signal–if you’re too selfish and lazy to flick a switch you don’t deserve to live.

Institute the same gun laws as Dodge City in the Old Wild West–no guns allowed inside city limits. Out in the countryside, you can do what you want.dodge-guns

Alien Reconnaissance Report on Planet Earth

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(Translated excerpts pertaining to the era of 20,000 b.p. to the present)

Section IV:   Advanced Information Processing Species

A.    Human Beings

1.   Ecological Type (check one):   Non-dominating and integrated ___;  Dominating and integrated ___;  Dominating and non-integrated __X__.

(for non-integrative dominators only)  Ecological sustainability:  None–rapidly decreasing biodiversity at the macro level causing increasing threat of microscopic pestilence as per Nyordyork’s Principle of Planetary Bio-Equilibrium.

2.   Economic System:  balanced exploitation

a.   Most frequently bought & sold item (excluding food and fuel):  weapons

b.   Second most frequently transacted item (measured in monetary units):  jewelry and shiny metals

c.   Most frequently transacted type of literary culture (excluding news and current events):  Religion and superstition

3.   Energy System:  non-renewable

4.   Political System:   fake democracies and actual dictatorships

5.   Cultural/Aesthetic Systems:  mostly species-specific

6.   Justice System:   biased towards the wealthy, even-handed towards the middle classes, and oppressive of the poor

7.   Potential for Selection/Advancement:   little to none because positive human mental traits do not correspond to any genetic groupings

RECOMMENDED COURSE OF ACTION (check one):   Maintain protective guardianship ____;  Allow catastrophic selection event(s) ____; Remove keystone species __X__

(Moral of the story:  We’re fucked, and rightly so!)