Questions for the Ages

Are Daisy Dukes appropriate for the Church of the Holy Sepulcher?

Did they really invent a martial-arts fighting style based on the Macarena? In a fair fight, could it beat the Hustle?

Why does GEICO use computers to write its advertising jokes? Have we been automated all ready? Because I’m saying it ain’t working–their shit sucks. And yeah, that’s my punch line.

Since when did the Misogyny Club of America get taken over by women??? Fuckin’ bitches…

Is there a place in Heaven for good people who are truly annoying?

Did Milton write Fanny Hill or are all the numerous resemblances purely coincidental?

If family names are often based on occupations and professions (Cooper, Miller, etc.) how come no one is named Prostitute? Or Spy? Or Royalbuttlicker?

Have you ever considered the advantages of armor-piercing?

Would Plato’s Allegory of the Cave have meant something different if it were a porn?

Why agonize over white phosphorous versus napalm when you can have them both?

And doesn’t your family deserve a better caliber machine gun? Think of the kids.

In the future, as the War on Terror enters its 300th year, will it be time to reflect on whether our methods are adequate to the task? Will we still be willing to give up constitutional rights we never really had?

Did Madonna go too far with her Molly Christmas album?

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