•  Missing Malaysian jetliner crashes into East Harlem building in New York, killing dozens

Spokesman for Chinese families says: “Now we have crosure.”

•  Turkish streets erupt in protest over Venezuelan protests against David Jolly victory over Alex Sink in Florida special election

Floridians react:  “Surf’s up!”

•  Putin sends handicapped troops into Special Olympics, seizing Ukrainian gold and causing Oscar Pistorius to vomit on his stumps

•  Obama grants comedian a health care interview to help him with his sick jokes

•  Republicans rescind and reject Republican-sponsored bill as “socialist garbage” after Obama signals possible non-veto

•  Drought in California causing widespread medical marijuana shortages–millions of fake illnesses could go untreated for months

•  Military tribunal on sex crimes asks cheerleader to the prom

•  Heart-warming viral video:  Afghanistan war veteran surprises his mistress with unannounced homecoming

•  Conservative Think-Tank Study: Impoverished recipients of marijuana tax money in Colorado wasting their money on pot