The Importance of Pronunciation

Some people say “Latino,” while others say:  “Latin No!!!

Similarly, some people say “Latina,” while others say:  “Latin Nahhh.”

Some call it “Manhattan,” while others call it:  “Man Hatin’.”

And just just because all New Yorkers are misanthropes doesn’t make it right. Anyway, they have to be misanthropes–they’re surrounded by New Yorkers.

And be careful–there’s a big difference between “Can you not see?” and “Ken, you Nazi!”

And just because all people named Ken are secret Nazis doesn’t make it right–you can still get successfully sued for libel (see Kenneth Goebbels vs. Shitfer Brains, 2nd Federal Court, 3rd District, volume 3: 31-45).

Speaking of Naziism, be careful when you address Adele Fitler–she’s very touchy about her name, almost as touchy as when Sanford & Son’s Demond Wilson walked off the set of Hollywood Squares after some old white bitty called him “Demon(d).”

Other names requiring extra careful pronunciation:

Ray Cist
Taurus A. Newhole
Gaven Head
Goldie Showers
Benedictus Raw
Issa Futtup
Murr Dürer  (don’t call him Murray–he hates that name!)
Juanita Oilchange
Ken Formist
Ham R. Roid
Sy Phyllis Burns
Maria Rendhertz
Bridgette Riverkwai
Ward Tuyermother
Betty Didder / Ida Donner / Willy Duer
Meso Hahney

And, most important of all (because this could get you killed in many parts of the world):   Mohammed Iznada Proffitt

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