The Perverted Side of Natural Disasters

According to the Japanese Minister for Weird Porn, the earthquake and tsunami of 2011 led to widespread shortages among the vending machines that sell used schoolgirl panties. Only a fraction of the shortages could be blamed on hoarding, since the long-term storage and preservation of that product line is notoriously difficult.

It’s a dirty little secret of disaster relief work that prostitutes charge much less after a natural disaster.

It’s not sexual harassment to grab some ass if you’re both caught in a mud-slide.

Living in the shadow of a volcano improves your sex life because sperm can sense danger. Hence Naples, Hawaii, and Iceland–all good places to get laid. I’ve been told.

Sperm are like rats on a ship–they know when it’s sinking before the captain. So if the person is in mortal danger, those little sperm bastards will want to jump and swim for it. 

And that’s why if you ever find yourself horny all of a sudden for no apparent reason–check for mudslides (and something to grab). There might be a reason after all.

But it’s a horrible myth that displaced persons and war refugees are “easy.” Several UN studies have disproved these purported phenomena as statistically negligible.

The sex-worker discounts are real, however. So be altruistic and join up and come help wherever people are forced to like you by their horrible circumstances.

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