The Gulf of Mexico is Killing Us and Its Gotta Stop

We’ve got to do something about this crazy weather.

We’ve got to attack the problem at its source–the Gulf of Mexico.

It’s killing us.

It’s not that it’s not beautiful. It just doesn’t flush enough.

Frankly, it’s tepid. Too tepid.

And it doesn’t handle global warming very well. Actually, it can’t handle it all–it just makes things worse.

If we could just get the cold waters of the eastern Pacific into the Gulf and Western Caribbean things would be great again just like they were prior to the joining of North and South America c. 3 million years ago.

We could warm up the tropics and grow a few polar ice caps all in the same geologic day! Net shoreline change: Zero!

Western Europe would be hard hit by these changes. Western Europe would become part of those lovely ice caps since the warm waters of the Gulf Stream would likely disappear.

The point is, Europe would pay dearly to get us to not mess with the Gulf Stream and its Unholy Mother, the Evil Goddess of Super-storms, the Gulf of Mexico.

Therefore, Solution #2 is not to abolish or change the Gulf of Mexico, but rather to TAX or EXTORT the Europeans with the continual threat of doing so.

It’s only fair that Europe should pay for tornado damage in America’s midwest, since both Europe’s habitability and our tornado damage come from the same stinking bowl of overheated water, the Gulf of Mexico.