•  The economic recovery under Obama leads to a new Yuppie ethos among the young which leads to new life for the Republicans.

•  Embrace, but do not kiss, at least not in public, the Log Cabin crowd, especially the super-classy ones (avoid photo ops with the bears). Everyone knows that fashion follows the gay community and young people follow fashion. And that leads to–

•  Don’t you wish America had its own Downton Abbeys? Then vote Republican!

◊  Because you can’t have classy without classes.

◊  Remember: the elegance is worth the wealth disparity. Besides, the sophistication and refinement more than makes up for the unlivable wages that are its foundations.

To sum up:  the GOP needs to go stealthy, go classy, go gay (the right kind of gay) and wait for the culture to swing back towards the Yuppie-ism that always afflicts the children who come of age following sharp recessions. They see the older age-set suffering through a recession and they get all Scarlett O’Hara about it.

I try not to despise the coming generation of neo-Yuppie scum by reminding myself that they’re not even out of high school yet. But it’s inevitable.