New Product Warnings

Warning:  the new IPad2 fails to deliver total happiness!

Warning:  cat treats are just appetite suppressants

Warning:  reading books makes you blind

Warning:  insurance is just betting against yourself–try to be more optimistic with your money

Warning:  do not use these condoms in conditions warmer than 95° F (35° C)

Warning:  quantum physics indicates there is only a slight chance your tampons will explode

Warning:  anti-tobacco advertising is addictive–many local TV stations would fall apart without it

Warning:  female empowerment is just another patriarchal scam, all part of our evil plan to get back to that cave without any responsibilities whatsoever

Warning:  (for sub-Saharan markets) This product is highly toxic and sleeping with a virgin will not reduce its toxicity

(The above warning label was mandated by recent successful lawsuits in Zimbabwean courts.)

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s