Brethren–and sisters–our text today is from the Book of Laughs. Now of course the full title is: The Laughs of the Ass-postles of Christ that’s Funny as Recorded by Bobo, Loyal but Overly-Editorial Scribe to Paul, formerly Saul, formerly of Gaul, who Claimed to be from Tarsus.
So you can see why people just call it The Laughs for short. That fuckin’ Bobo! Heh heh…
Today we’re gonna sermonize from Laughs 37:10 (hike!) where we find the following wisdumb:
“On that Day of Reckoning all the boogers thou ever picked and wiped shall be mounded up high and brought down on thy dwellings and thy fields, yay, on thy chattel and thy manservants, and then shalt thou have to account for the sins of thy very un-Jewish poor hygiene–
“–But IF thou believest in the holy nose hairs of the Messiah, in the redeeming sacrifice of his Pickless Existence, then shalt thou be washed clean of thine own filthy filtrations and enter into the Holy Mansion of God which has no boogers underneath the furniture and only a few old gum wads here and there because God suffers the children–and therefore, by implication, not you…”
The point is, brethren–and sisters–is that Christianity allowed us Europeans to be the filthy pigs we were gonna be anyway. Truly a miracle!