Why Poison Those Most Likely to Evolve?

Since it’s obvious we’re doomed as a species, passing on “our genes” is a futile hope.

It’s also obvious that not everything is doomed. There are several species waiting in the wings, just like those little rat bastards that stole dinosaur eggs so they could raise little rat bastards who later evolved into us.

And we all know who they are:  the fucking ants! As soon as we’re gone you know those little scum are gonna take over. And evolve! They love gamma rays. And asteroids.

What’s already freaking me out is that while the ants own my entire lawn here in Florida–I’m only allowed to pass through briefly as long as I don’t stop too long–they’re not really crawling around my house that much, and I haven’t put out poison in almost a year.

That means they’re learning.  Collectively.  As in culture.

The ants also seem to have forged an odd truce with the stray cat I feed. He literally rolls around on top of their nests. Meanwhile I leave my foot down for 30 seconds away from their nest and I get attacked. (No, I do not dangle cat treats over ant nests, they’re just everywhere and he flops at will.)

Perhaps the ants are eating the fleas off the cat, so they refrain from biting the cat.  ‘Meaning they’re already developing animal husbandry on a grand scale, and not just with those little sugar-shitting aphids you see on TV.

The point is, you can’t pass on your human genes so forget about it, sorry Charlie*, but the ants in your lawn might just be the ants that go on to evolve to become the next master species on planet Earth.

So I’m gonna do everything in my power to pass on my ants’ genes into the future: no more outdoor poison and plenty of left-over cat food.

(c) 2012 Alan Brech

* Natural selection on the galactic scale weeds out intelligent species who fail to cooperate in the defense of their planet from the inevitable asteroid and other disasters

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