Peggy Noonan interviews Katie Holmes

Senator Susan Collins gets into a spat with Katherine Hepburn:

Caption:  “Am I making fun of you, ha-ardly my de-ear. I was New-w-w England prep before your fa-amily got here. Call me when the DARrrrr lets you in.”

Obama and Spock Bore the Shit Out of Us with their Reasonableness

Obama: “It’s fascinating, really.”

Spock: “Quite fascinating, Commander.”

Obama:  “Of course, a lot depends on your perspective.”

Spock:  “Naturally. But it remains interesting from many perspectives.”

Obama:  “Get me Netanyahu on the phone, Spock, we need to share this insight with him.”

Spock:  “That would be highly illogical, Commander, but I will place the call, unless you prefer to communicate via mind-meld.”

Obama:  “Oh God no! Now that would be highly illogical!”

Spock:  “My repressed human half finds that amusing, Commander.”

Obama:  “My repressed black half has a million of em.”

Bill O’Reilly and his North Korean clone:

“No, you a pindot!”

“It’s pin-head!”

“You just call yourself pin-head!”

“Cut his mike!”

“Cut his mike!”

“Cut his mike!”

“Cut his frukking mike!!!”

Etc. 

Barry White and Henry Kissinger Discuss “Diplomacy” ( ;

[Photo shows garbled, unintelligible symbols in the dialog baloons]

Fortunately, the new Guttural Translator 3000 can convert most of their grunts and growls into actual human speech:

Kissinger:  I’m sorry Barry but I think I could do a much better job singing Lou Rawl’s “You’ll Never Find” and he’s already offered me much better terms—

White:  Hey, I hear you man, it’s no thing, just some white agents’ fantasy that ain’t gonna happen. I told him Can’t Get Enough is too exuberant for your downbeat style—but you should definitely do Lou’s song, brother, you would rip that piece up! Think of the money.”

Kissinger:  I don’t care about money. Would it increase my power and awesome legacy?

White:  That I can’t tell you. ‘Wouldn’t know how to even guess.

Kissinger:  You’re an honest man, Mr. White. ©2012 Alan Brech