Ridiculing the Rosen-Romney Ruckus

These stay-at-home prostitutes really don’t know what it’s like for working whores who have to sling it on the street.  Annie Reamme has never worked a street corner a single night in her life!

You know, I could have stayed at home and baked erotic cookies for visiting perverts, but I choose to pursue my professional career in the public sphere, on behalf of the people.  Anonymous people with cash.

Hey, I’ve done both–I’ve stayed at home raising the children of my pimps, johns, and dirty toilet seats AND gone out and worked three, four, maybe five jobs a night! Believe me, it’s much harder to stay home and yell at incorrigible hoodrats all day.

The other thing people don’t realize about so-called stay-at-home spouses is how much work and suffering it takes to put-out day after day to a contemptible old crab just because they’re wealthy and the parent of most of your children.

Forbes estimates the value of a stay-at-home spouse at about $110,000 per year. Paid as “piece work” (i.e., per duty) and not as a yearly salary, the breakdown is quite different:  per household chore, the yearly value is closer to $300,000. Half a million if your kids are especially nasty. When paid per sex act, however, some of these spouses would be lucky to clear 10 grand a year.

And that’s why many wealthy people live well below the sexual poverty line. The Gross Domestic Product of some bedrooms is less (when measured in sex-worker-dollars) than the economic output of a homeless can-collector.

[Please note that no gendered terms were used except in the first paragraph. So you can’t accuse me of sexism even though this whole piece reeks of it.]

(c) 2012, Alan Brech


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