Cast of characters:   J.C., a generic Everydude, and Bergda, a generic Everywoman-who’s-slightly-better-than-every-other-Everywoman

J.C. Penny: Wow, she’s so beautiful
Bergda Orf Goodman: Yeah with ten pounds of make-up.
JC: No one wears ten pounds of make-up like she does. I would sleep with her if she wore that mask.
Bergda: The make-up artist responsible for her beauty would probably be more willing to sleep with you, and better at it too.
JC: What’s she look like?
Bergda: Like a guy!
JC: What about with make-up?

(C) 2012, Alan Brech–you can’t make this into a movie without my ok