The guy in the “Low-T” ad should have low-T. I mean, look at him! Even people who don’t know any Yiddish or even any Jews think “Putz” when they see that guy. They chose that actor just because he looks like a putz, but that’s a digression.
The point is, do we really want all these older dudes walking around with high-T? Or hobbling around with super-T?! Or wheeling around with Max-T Bulger? Scared yet?
Is not “low-T” just God’s way of keeping us out of trouble, forcing us to reflect on life in a more mature manner? Will Grandfatherhood be medicated away? Are assisted living centers destined to become orgy warehouses? What about when Snoop Dogg gets old? I mean older.
Things are looking grim, so let us look on the bright side–no, the light is too bright, it hurts, look away, ah soothing darkness, soothing darkness getting real old real quick is this all there is my God it’s Hellish where has the light gone agghhh!
We apologize for that hellish interlude.
In conclusion, by way of introduction, since the post-WWII baby boom generation is the self-appointed Axial Generation around whom the whole universe revolves, and since they-we (born in ’64, you decide) are so incredibly special and music-worthy, the aging of the baby boomers must also be special and laden with poetry and new-sounding philosophy. It’s got to be. Otherwise, they-we are just a bunch of aging farts, and that obviously can’t be the case. I mean right?
What we need are 21st century versions of those cool 1970’s books to talk us through it, to talk the shit out of our condition until it’s so worded-up beyond all recognition by overthought school-damage and theory fallout that we all feel safely confused and enobled.
Here are the kind of books we-they need to have around so that we can pretend to have read them:
The Zen of Assisted Living
How to Save the Planet While Retiring
My Grandmother My Self
Journey to Assisted Ixtlan
Tales of Power and Other Old Memories
The Joy of Outercourse
My Not So Secret Courtyard Garden
Jonathan Livingston Parking Lot Seagull
The Executor of the Rings
The Pentagon Retirement Papers
The Old Cuckoo’s Nest is Worth Flying Into if You’ve Got Viagra and High-T
(c) 2012 Alan Brech