Viva la Recession! Down with Economic Recoveries!

Today I tried to rent a bicycle but couldn’t because the Christmas season had been so good, all the used bikes they normally rent had been sold.      

Damn this recovery! 

I miss the recession.  Recessions are underrated. Nay, recessions are awesome!

Back in the good old days, roads and stores were empty and merchants were even more fake-friendly.  During the Golden Age of 2007 when gas prices went near five dollars per gallon, I owned I-95 and I-75! They were mine. Like that Irish guy in Braveheart —they were my highways! (insane grin)

And so much less life-threatening.  When you factor in what’s called “safety” (i.e., a nice way of denoting the absence of blood and guts… this time) and factor in the luxury of a highway all to yourself, five dollars per gallon is a great deal if you don’t drive much. Some of those roads are actually pretty without people like us driving on them.

 Of course, nothing is more beautiful than a utilitarian object no longer in use. Nothing except flowers and sunsets and animals and happy people and astronomical phenomena and art and music and good stories—but that’s a digression, the point is, old farm equipment can look gorgeous as long as there’s not a farm there anymore.

More depressing than the traffic of an economic recovery is what people actually do with the “extra” money they earn—they chew up land and wilderness for schlocky housing. They burn up gas and oil for taller and taller cars so that they can see over everyone else’s Tall-mobile.

Remember when the recession started and we all got 500 bucks in the mail from the government? I could use another 500 right about now, not for any particular reason, but just because I like 500 dollars. It’s hard to feel bad with 500 dollars.

But I would never spend it on an SUV or anything else that supposedly helps the economy. I just want it to buy enough time to explore the woods that almost got chewed up during the last economic bubble-boom.

And drive home on nearly empty roads past quaint abandoned businesses:

Garrison Surf-Boards?  What were they thinking?

(c) 2011 Alan Brech

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