Reductio ad Conservadum: Let’s Get Laissez-Fucked

•  If raising the minimum wage is so bad, lowering the minimum wage will be great!  And if we could just eliminate the minimum wage altogether, the result would be Utopian. QEDuhhhh…

•  Libertarian / Conservative / Tea Party response to the recent chemical spills in West Virginia and the Dan River, North Carolina:

“See, we don’t need no frikkin’ nanny state! Let business do what they want. The free market will take care of it. That goddamn EPA and their oppressive regulations are killing us!”

•  This is what global cooling looks like to a conservative:

global temps globaltempsNOAAdata

You see? Because 1998 was so incredibly hot, it makes all the hot years since 1998 seem like a cool breeze!

•  Since it’s obvious that government can’t do anything right, the best defense policy would be to abolish our government-run military and replace it with private warlords.

You think Bill Gates would let his F-35 joint-strike fighter run 150 billion dollars over budget? Hell no!

And what’s with all these government-run roads–wouldn’t it be much more sensible to pay a toll to some rich dude every time you want to drive somewhere?

Postmodern Jungian Archetypes for Today’s American Political Scene

Jung’s genius was too far in advance of his times–the Katzenjammer Kids are not really the cosmic archetype of humanity that Jung held them to be. Today we know that the KJ Kidz are just archetypes of happy-go-lucky people too young to know that they will grow up to fight for Hitler.

Jung’s other big mistake was that Hedy Lamarr was not that hot.

Then again, maybe Jung was on to something…

But Jung’s basic idea has regained credibility as we develop better archetypes and as we learn the algebra by which these archetypes can be combined to provide more accurate and dynamic psychological representations. Politics, and our “political personality,” being a caricature of reality (a really bad one), are especially reducible to a few fundamental archetypes:

Conservative utopia =

 PLUS

Tea Party vision of Utopia =

 PLUS

Liberal worldview  (Being more complicated than conservatives, it takes three TV shows to encapsulate the liberal worldview, not just two):

 PLUS  PLUS

Feminist =

 PLUS The Mary Tyler Moore Show tv show photo

Radical Feminist = Just Xena

Moderates:  You might think they would be even more complicated than liberals, but they too can be summarized in just one TV show:  Seinfeld. “Good luck with all that in 2012!”

(c) 2012, Alan Brech