Dandruff is good for you. Once every winter, in colder climates, you gotta let those little bugs chew you a new scalp.
Mattress mites help your skin by eating yeast and other nasties.
Every time you hold in a sneeze three minutes of your life in a nursing home is lost.
Never swallow your own spit. Try not to swallow others.
Avoid substandard orgasms.
Besides, we now know Blue Balls is good exercise.*
Biting your nails boosts the immune system
A filthy baby is a healthy baby.
There are three main sources of human suffering:
And we can fix that.
*pervertedwisdom does not condone the deliberate self-infliction of blue balls by athletes prior to competitions as a method of boosting testosterone and enhancing performance.
Posted in health, humor |
Tagged blue balls, dandruff, future news, immune system, medicine, mites, orgasm, sneezing, spit, yeast |
Call your doctor if you experience loss of vision–
“Doc, I can’t
see anything and I still wanna fuck it!”
“‘No’ looks a lot like ‘now’ when you’re lip-reading”
Shits and giggles–
Or an erection lasting more than three hours.
Starting now, or when I first wanted it to go away?
Viagra is not for everyone–
this loser [picture of loser] or this douche-bag [picture: douche-bag] and all you fuckin’ chicks [picture: all chicks]
–But if you’re a young teenager who doesn’t pop wood while riding on a vibrating school bus early in the morning, you might wanna discuss Viagra with your cock doctor and your Mom.
When I was fifteen, Doc, I used to get hard every hour and semi-hard every half hour. But now I only get involuntaries first thing in the morning…right Mom?
[insert bonor joke here]
Posted in advice, cultural criticism, health, humor, Uncategorized |
Tagged bonors, Cialis, cock doctors, daily use, erection, penis medicine, sex, side effects, Viagra |